Parents can discover how adjusting their attitude toward challenging behaviors can unlock their child’s potential and unique talents.
**Table of Contents**
If you’re like me, you’ve probably noticed how often you view your child’s behavior through your own lens, questioning things like:
– How can I get them to ‘behave’?
– What will others think of my parenting?
– Am I to blame for this difficult behavior?
This mindset can quickly lead to frustration and disconnect from our spirited children.
It took me a lot of time, energy, and tears to realize I was approaching it all wrong. I was caught up in trying to control and manage my child with rewards or punishments, hoping to ‘fix’ them, when in fact, they weren’t broken at all.
Then, one day, while watching my daughter play—turning almost everything around her into a plaything—I had a profound realization. My child is exactly who she’s meant to be, and maybe I don’t want her to change.
That moment marked the beginning of my journey toward acceptance. When I accepted her for who she was and stopped trying to mold her into the child I envisioned, everything changed. I could finally see her true self, beyond just the behaviors.
I saw her tenderness with her little brother when he fell. I saw her joy as she played at the park. I noticed her strength when she stood up for herself with a friend. I observed her curiosity and adventurous spirit as she climbed trees. I admired her creativity as she crafted an elaborate, messy masterpiece on our porch.
It was time to turn challenges into strengths. Sure, she could be sensitive, intense, loud, strong, and messy, but she also had the makings of a Superkid. By viewing her behaviors through a lens of positivity, amazing changes began to unfold.
Instead of working against her, I started working with her. Focusing less on the challenges allowed me to highlight and nurture her strengths. I began to see who she truly was and guide her in sharing her gifts with the world.
When you shift your perspective on your child, it’s exciting and life-changing.
Focusing on their strengths repeatedly helps shape new neural pathways in our brains—a practice backed by simple neuroscience. Our brains naturally focus more on negativity (like when the kids are fighting) than positivity (when they play peacefully).
So, as parents, we need intention and dedication to notice and highlight the positives in our children every day. The more you do this, the easier it becomes to see their strengths regularly. And as you start to point out and praise these strengths, you’ll see your child flourish.
There’s a bonus, too: your own outlook on parenting shifts. Rather than seeing it as a burden, it becomes an adventure.
I had a choice: view my child through a negative lens or embrace her as the unique, beautifully imperfect person she is. I chose the latter, and I’ve never looked back. If you do the same, you won’t either.
