Parents can learn that by changing how they view difficult behavior, they can help their child reach their full potential and discover their unique strengths.
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Some kids just don’t follow the expected path. They’re the ones who don’t listen, can’t sit still, and feel more emotions before breakfast than a bustling maternity ward. If you’re anything like me, you might have viewed your child’s actions in a way that made you question:
– How can I get her to behave?
– What will others think of my parenting?
– Am I to blame for this difficult behavior?
This mindset often leads to frustration, negativity, and feeling disconnected from your wonderful, spirited child.
After spending countless hours, energy, and tears, I realized I had been approaching things wrong. I was stuck in a mindset focused on power and control, searching for the perfect consequence to make her more manageable—thinking she needed fixing when she really wasn’t broken at all.
Then, one day, as I watched my daughter play (or rather, create chaos with everything not meant to be a toy), I had an epiphany: my child is exactly who she’s meant to be, and I wouldn’t want her any other way.
Looking back, I can see that I was beginning to embrace acceptance. When I started accepting her for who she is and stopped trying to mold her into the child I’d imagined, I gained a new perspective. I could finally see HER beyond just her behaviors.
– I noticed her tenderness and sensitivity with her little brother when he fell off his tricycle.
– I saw her joy light up the park as she played tag with her sister.
– I observed her assertive voice standing firm when she felt wronged by a friend.
– I admired her courage and curiosity as she bravely climbed the tree despite being told to turn around.
– I marveled at her creativity as she crafted a chaotic masterpiece of Orbees and flower petals on the porch.
It’s time to turn challenges into strengths.
Although she can be sensitive, intense, loud, strong, and messy, there’s no doubt she possesses the strengths of a Superkid.
When you begin viewing your child’s behaviors through a lens of strength, positivity, and empowerment, amazing things happen. Instead of working against your child, you start collaborating with them. By focusing on their strengths rather than their challenges, you help them shine.
You stop seeing your child as a collection of disruptions and start recognizing them as the incredible being they are, ready to share their gifts with the world.
Shifting your perspective as a parent is an exciting, energizing, and truly transformative journey. When we focus repeatedly on something, it shapes our brain’s pathways. Our brains, wired to notice negatives, require deliberate effort to spot positives, especially in our children.
So, what does this mean for you as a parent?
We must be intentional and committed to recognizing and celebrating the positives in our children every day. The more you pay attention to their strengths, the more your brain will naturally look for them—it’s basic neuroscience.
And here’s the best part: your new mindset will yield wonderful results. The strengths you highlight will start to flourish, and you’ll watch your child bloom.
There’s another bonus—your outlook on parenting will change. Actively discovering your child’s amazing qualities can turn parenting from a burden into an adventure.
I had two paths to choose from: seeing my child through the lens of a critical outsider or celebrating her as the unique, beautifully imperfect person she is. I chose the latter, and if you do the same, you won’t regret it.
