If you’re feeling overwhelmed by raising a child with ADHD, know that you’re not alone. A child therapist and fellow parent of a child with ADHD has shared some practical steps to help you navigate this journey with clarity and confidence. Caring for a child with ADHD can be emotionally and mentally demanding, but by following these five tips, you can gain a healthier perspective and keep both you and your child happier.
**Table of Contents**
*Being Honest*
There are days when I wonder how my life might differ if my child didn’t have ADHD. Would I have more patience if I wasn’t using every last bit of it on emotional outbursts? Would my house be tidier without impulsive ice cream raids and sticky messes? Maybe I’d be more of a ‘fun mom’ without the constant need for strict routines and predictability.
These thoughts often surface when I feel overwhelmed by raising a child who doesn’t fit the mold. On those days, it seems as if other parents have an easier time and that my vision of family life has slipped away.
Thankfully, after seven years, these moments are less frequent. With time comes hope, growth, and perspective. On the particularly challenging days, keeping these ideas in mind can anchor you to what truly matters: the well-being of both you and your child.
1. **Give Yourself Permission to Pause**
When you’re on the brink of losing patience, remember that not every situation is an emergency. Taking a moment to pause can be beneficial for both you and your child, allowing you to respond more effectively and supportively when you’re ready.
2. **Reflect on Your Emotions**
In the chaos, take a moment to look inward and acknowledge your feelings. Are frustration and resentment masking deeper fears about your child’s repeated mistakes? Remember, it’s okay to feel this way. Accepting your feelings is the first step. Emotions are temporary, and working through them can help them pass. You’re not a bad parent for having these thoughts.
3. **Challenge Negative Thoughts**
Parenting a child with ADHD often leads to self-criticism. It’s important to challenge the notion that you’re responsible for your child’s behaviors, which are symptoms of a neurological condition. Remind yourself: “I’m doing the best I can, and so is my child.” Practice realistic thinking, placing your child’s behaviors in proper context rather than blaming yourself.
4. **Focus on Strengths**
Helping your child manage ADHD involves highlighting their unique gifts, not just their challenges. When defiant behavior dominates, remember your child is more than their actions. Enjoy discovering their amazing qualities.
5. **Maintain Connection**
When your patience is wearing thin, consider it a sign that some relationship repair might be needed. A strong attachment to a caregiver is essential, especially for children facing extra challenges. Take a step back from the control mode and focus on fun and laughter with your child. Connection and joy can help mend relationship ruts.
In the end, time has shown me that my child’s behaviors have cultivated my patience and that a clean house is not what’s most important. Embrace the routine and predictability that these days bring. Pause, breathe, and remind yourself that your child will be okay, especially with a loving and dedicated parent like you by their side.
*Note: This post was originally published on 12/12/2018 and has been updated.*
P.S. Discover more support for your ADHD parenting journey…
