If you’re feeling overwhelmed with caring for a child with ADHD, you’re not alone. A child therapist and mom of a child with ADHD shares proven steps to help you move forward with clarity and confidence. Parenting a child with ADHD can be demanding both emotionally and mentally, but these five tips can help you maintain perspective and increase happiness for both you and your child.
**Table of Contents**
**Can I be honest?**
Sometimes, I wonder what life would be like if I weren’t raising a child with ADHD. Would I have more patience if I didn’t spend it all on handling emotional outbursts? Could I keep the house tidier without impulsive ice cream raids leaving sticky trails behind? Would I be the ‘fun mom’ more often if I didn’t have to maintain such a strict routine?
These thoughts often come when I’m feeling overwhelmed, and the challenge of raising a child who thinks differently feels especially heavy. On those days, it can seem like other parents have an easier time, and the family life I imagined seems out of reach.
Thankfully, after seven years, these overwhelming days are much less frequent. Time has a way of bringing hope, potential for growth, and a sense of perspective. On days when you feel lost in exhaustion, remembering these strategies will help keep you focused on what truly matters—the well-being of you and your child.
**Take a Pause**
It’s okay to hit the pause button when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Most situations aren’t immediate emergencies, and taking a moment can benefit both you and your child. Reflect on your emotions and bodily sensations. What lies beneath the anger and frustration? Are you upset about repeated mistakes or worried your child won’t learn basic skills?
Your feelings are valid. Accepting them is the first step. Emotions are temporary, and acknowledging them helps them pass without defining you as a parent. Awareness without reacting out of frustration allows you to be the supportive parent your child needs, preserving your relationship.
**Understand Your Journey**
You didn’t plan for this special needs journey, and coming to terms with the challenges of ADHD requires time, patience, and self-compassion. Great parents often hold themselves to unreasonable standards, mistakenly attributing their child’s ADHD behaviors to poor parenting. Recognize these negative thoughts for what they are and combat them with truth: “I’m doing my best, and so is my child.”
Find healthy ways to process these feelings, like talking to another parent in a similar situation, journaling, or prayer.
**Focus on Strengths**
Helping a child with ADHD involves highlighting their strengths, not just focusing on negative behaviors. During tough times, remember your child is more than their challenges. Discover their unique qualities and enjoy the gift of getting to know them.
Consistently dealing with challenging behaviors can be overwhelming. Remembering that these behaviors are temporary can give you perspective. Your child’s brain will continue to develop, enhancing skills like planning and impulse control, and with your support, they’ll learn to manage their emotions.
**Repair and Connect**
On days when your patience runs thin and you feel at your wit’s end, it may be time to repair the relationship. A strong connection with a caregiver is essential, especially for kids facing daily challenges. Sometimes, it’s okay to let go of control, focus on having fun, and create laughter with your child. These moments of connection are healing.
**Embrace Growth**
The challenges of raising a child with ADHD have taught me patience, that a clean house isn’t the most important thing, and that routine and predictability are beneficial. Pause, breathe, and remind yourself that your child will be okay. They have what matters most—a caring, dedicated parent.
Originally published on 12/12/2018 and updated for your continuing support.
P.S. Here’s more help for your ADHD parenting journey…
