If you’re feeling overwhelmed by raising a child with ADHD, know that you’re not alone. These practical steps from a child therapist who is also a parent of a child with ADHD can help guide you with clarity and confidence. Caring for a child with ADHD can be emotionally and mentally challenging, but these five tips aim to help you maintain perspective and improve both your and your child’s happiness.
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**A Truthful Reflection**
There are days when I wonder what life would be like without raising a child with ADHD. Would I have more patience if I weren’t constantly dealing with emotional outbursts? Would my home be tidier if not for impulsive snack raids leaving sticky messes? Would I feel like the “fun mom” more often if I didn’t have to stick to strict routines?
Such thoughts usually appear on overwhelming days when raising an extraordinary child feels burdensome. It can seem as if other parents have it easier, and my vision of family life feels out of reach. Thankfully, these moments occur less often as time passes, providing space for growth, hope, and new possibilities.
When you find yourself lost in the chaos, remember the following ideas to stay focused on what’s important: the well-being of both you and your child.
**Pause When You Need To**
Allow yourself a moment to pause when things become too much. Usually, situations with your child aren’t emergencies, and taking a break can lead to a more supportive response later. When the world feels like it’s spinning, take a breath and check in with yourself. Identify the emotions beneath the surface—what are you truly feeling? Is it frustration over repeated mistakes or fear that your child won’t learn certain things? Whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay.
Acknowledging your feelings when overwhelmed is the first step. Emotions are temporary, and by facing them, you allow them to pass. You’re not a bad parent for having these thoughts and emotions; accepting them can help you be the best parent possible, keeping your relationship with your child intact.
**Shifting Perspectives**
You probably didn’t expect a special needs journey when you became a parent. It takes time, patience, and self-compassion to adjust to the challenges ADHD brings. It’s easy to be hard on yourself, but remember that your child’s ADHD doesn’t reflect poor parenting. Negative thought patterns can creep in, but counter them with realistic affirmations like, “I’m doing my best today, and so is my child.”
Find ways to process complex emotions, whether through conversation with fellow parents, journaling, or prayer.
**Spotlight on Strengths**
Helping a child with ADHD reduce negative behaviors involves highlighting their strengths and innate gifts, not just focusing on challenges. During difficult times, remember that your child is much more than their behaviors. Discovering who they truly are is a gift, so take time to appreciate it.
**Managing Stress**
Chronic challenging behaviors can be overwhelming, pushing even the calmest parent to emotional limits. Stress environments activate survival instincts instead of rational thinking. Remember that your child is developing, and with time, they’ll gain better control over their behaviors. Support and encouragement will help them grow, and with them, so will you.
**Nurturing the Relationship**
When patience runs thin, it may be time to mend the relationship. A strong, nurturing bond is essential, especially for kids facing added challenges. Let go of control occasionally and focus on creating moments of joy and laughter. Connection and fun are powerful remedies for relationship struggles.
The greatest lessons often come from the toughest challenges. Over time, I’ve realized that dealing with my child’s behavior has made me more patient, taught me what truly matters, and helped me appreciate routine and predictability. So pause, breathe, and remind yourself that your child is in good hands—with you as a loving, dedicated parent by their side.
*Note: This post was originally published on 12/12/2018 and has been updated.*
P.S. Explore more support for your ADHD parenting journey…
