While the combination of various achievements and activities may seem important in many women’s lives, we need to question whether these are truly the best measures of success for women. I’ve seen many girls in my practice with perfect grades and busy schedules who become overwhelmed by minor conflicts with friends.
We can redefine what it means for women to “have it all” for the next generation of girls. What if “having it all” meant pursuing your true passions instead of chasing an Ivy League degree? What if it focused on self-love before finding a partner or starting a family?
Instead of basing “having it all” on cultural standards, what if it meant developing qualities that lead to fulfillment in all areas of life? These traits would equip our girls to navigate life’s ups and downs, maintain healthy relationships, and make positive choices about their time and energy. They’ll learn to remember their intrinsic worth, beyond just their achievements.
If we start now, we as parents can redefine “having it all” for the next generation, starting with our daughters. Our daughters will have it all by developing a strong sense of self. It’s surprising how many young girls I meet who struggle to describe their own personalities, traits, and talents. If they don’t know who they are, they might seek identities elsewhere, often falling short of their potential.
We should create an environment that nurtures our daughters’ true selves, allowing their personalities, gifts, and talents to flourish. By doing so, we help them build a safe space to return to during life’s inevitable challenges.
Additionally, girls will thrive with strong communication skills. Often, they are taught to be nice, quiet, and polite, sometimes at the expense of their own needs. When girls learn to suppress their feelings, they are unprepared to handle conflict effectively. Instead of airing grievances online, we should teach them the value of direct communication and reassure them that it’s okay to express when someone has upset them. These skills will guide them through interactions with friends, partners, and colleagues for life.
Furthermore, girls need to develop healthy boundaries. Often raised to please others, they set aside their needs to follow others’ agendas. Imagine if they could confidently pursue their interests, like joining a math club or opting out of social pressures, without worrying about others’ opinions.
Teaching boundaries involves giving them the skills to assertively say “yes” and “no,” and to accept “no” from others without taking it personally. Strong boundaries reduce the chances of falling victim to bullying or unhealthy relationships. Parents play a part by challenging negative portrayals of female sexuality and advocating for the love and respect of their bodies.
We might need to reconsider our long-term goals for our daughters, focusing more on inner happiness and contentment than cultural standards. By teaching these vital skills, we’re setting our girls on the path to truly “having it all.”
