Inside: Guiding a strong-willed child can be challenging, but these tips offer an emotionally healthy approach to parenting.
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If you have a strong-willed child, you know it. Requests are met with resistance, commands are questioned, and by the early morning, you’ve already heard an argument on why wearing the same leggings three days in a row is perfectly acceptable. This isn’t exactly what most of us envisioned when we thought about having kids.
We often expect our children to make us look like great parents by following our guidance without question because that’s what good kids do, right? However, after conversing with numerous parents of strong-willed kids, it became clear that something significant was overlooked amidst the chaos.
Some kids are naturally more compliant, while others aren’t, yet all kids are good. But children with complex personalities require more time, patience, and understanding to nurture and guide.
You’re likely aware that parenting a strong-willed child can be exhausting and sometimes overwhelming, leaving you hanging by a thread of patience. But here’s the silver lining: when you approach your spirited child with intentionality and respect, they can become a gift you never knew you wanted.
These 10 do’s and don’ts will help you keep your focus on what truly matters—understanding your unique child and helping them thrive, while maintaining their emotional well-being.
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The world needs diverse personalities, and you’re raising a child who is a mover and a shaker. Teach them to channel their inner fire wisely and respectfully, and they’ll grow into someone who stands up and makes a difference.
A strong-willed child needs to feel secure both physically and emotionally. Demonstrate your support during their emotional highs and lows without unraveling, and confidently set boundaries.
Reserve your venting sessions for when the kids are asleep. It’s natural to wish your kid would just comply, put on their pajamas the first time, and stop asking so many questions. Over time, you’ll see that their determination, passion, and leadership traits are assets that will serve them well in the future.
When you shift your perspective on your child’s temperament, you unlock their full potential by accepting them for who they are, not who you want them to be.
Your child is perceptive and will call you out if your actions don’t match your words. It’s crucial to model the qualities you want to see in them, as smart, spirited kids learn best through experience.
Raising these kids is like looking in a mirror—your weaknesses and emotional wounds become apparent. But remember, humans grow through continuous self-improvement. A strong-willed child challenges you to admit that you don’t know it all, and that’s perfectly okay.
Discipline based on negativity can backfire, especially with strong-willed kids who may feel shame and abandonment. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, but moving away from punitive measures and exploring research-backed methods can lead to a healthier parent-child dynamic. Discipline should be constructive, focusing on building up rather than breaking down.
One of the toughest aspects is dealing with external judgment and criticism. Trust that you know your child best and resist snap judgments from others.
Raising a strong-willed child often means setting aside your ego. Kids are born with distinct personalities, and it’s easy to mistakenly think their behavior reflects on you as a parent.
You didn’t cause your child’s strong-willed nature. They are on their own journey, learning, questioning, and growing. Interestingly, many parents of strong-willed kids share that same trait themselves.
Avoid power struggles by choosing collaboration over control. Working with your child rather than against them fosters cooperation and creates peace.
While raising a strong-willed child isn’t easy, we need kids with determination, strong voices, and a sense of justice. By nurturing these traits, you’re likely raising someone who will positively impact the world.
Embrace the chaos your strong-willed child brings today, knowing it’s laying the foundation for them to do great things tomorrow.
