Inside, you’ll discover the most effective tips for encouraging your child to listen by using positive parenting techniques that support their emotional well-being.
**Table of Contents**
“With butter! Without the crust, please!”
My 8-year-old daughter, busy savoring her third piece of toast at the kitchen counter, makes me wonder how someone so small can eat so much. A quick look at the clock tells me that time’s slipping away again. I remind my daughters that it’s time for school and ask them to pack their bags and put on their jackets. One daughter continues to nibble on her crustless toast while the other heads to the piano, eager to practice right at that moment. Seriously?
Transitions can be tough, not just for us, but for kids too. As a child counselor, many parents approach me, seeking advice on how to get their kids to listen. I tell them that we can’t force our kids to listen. Sometimes, not listening is a healthy way for them to express their individuality. Kids need the same freedom of will that we all do.
Trying to control our child often backfires, affecting their ability to become self-sufficient and damaging the parent-child relationship. When I share this viewpoint, I notice parents ready for practical advice on how to encourage cooperation.
Navigating positive parenting can be challenging, especially during busy times like these. So, how can we motivate our children to listen without using fear, threats, or intimidation, which only offer short-term solutions?
First, we remind ourselves that fear-based tactics aren’t helping us raise self-motivated kids. Instead, we’re focused on raising children who can navigate life independently. Second, we can use positive parenting tools as a strong foundation for their future.
Here are five habits that encourage better listening when practiced regularly:
1. **Empathy**
Sometimes, kids feel shuffled around with little regard for their opinions. They’re humans too, with their own needs and perspectives. By taking a moment to truly listen to them with empathy, we validate their experience, making them more likely to cooperate.
2. **Playfulness**
All kids speak the language of play. Infusing fun and creativity into daily routines can dissolve power struggles. Imagine transforming a winter hat into a superhero helmet before jumping into the “racecar” (minivan)—suddenly, cooperation becomes an adventure!
3. **Connection**
Before expecting cooperation in chaotic moments, ensure your child feels connected and valued. Kids can get overwhelmed by busy schedules, so balance hectic times with periods of meaningful connection.
4. **Offer Simple Directives**
Amidst the chaos, keep commands simple and clear to avoid overwhelming your child. Use concise language and offer choices when possible. Instead of a long-winded reminder, a simple “shoes” (repeated as needed) can be more effective.
5. **Problem-Solve Together**
If your child struggles with something, team up to find solutions together. Say, “I see putting on shoes is tough right now; how can I help?” Remember, you’re on the same team, and collaboration fosters positive changes.
While it’s tempting to nag, lecture, or yell to get them moving, these approaches often bring frustration and guilt. Instead, practicing empathy, connection, and collaboration can result in less yelling and guilt, teaching important life skills in the process.
P.S. Want to be the kind of parent who inspires listening instead of forcing it? Join my free email course! This 5-part series will help you become the calm, confident leader your child deserves. I’ve witnessed these strategies work for countless parents, and I’m confident they can work for you too. Sign up below!
