### Inside: Discover how to maintain your composure with kids on even the most hectic days, and understand why setting a positive emotional atmosphere at home is crucial for your family.
#### Table of Contents
You’ve probably heard the saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” While it may be a bit of an exaggeration, there’s some truth to it. Moms often set the emotional tone in the house. Our emotions are mirrored in our children’s moods, and my kids have shared that my happiness significantly impacts them. But learning to stay calm with kids isn’t always easy.
As mothers, we shape the environment where our children grow and thrive. It’s both a significant responsibility and a wonderful opportunity. Therefore, developing emotional maturity and learning to remain calm with my kids is essential. I need to move beyond mere reactions and find healthy ways to manage my emotions.
Choosing to maintain a joyful and positive attitude is something we must do intentionally so that our children can flourish in a happy home. We can’t just hope for smooth days, as they rarely happen! Instead, we need to be a source of calm amidst chaos. By managing my emotions, I can positively influence how my children feel, building an environment where they feel safe, loved, and valued. Creating a sense of belonging in my home is one of my most important roles. Getting the atmosphere right at home is everything.
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The first step in managing my emotional reactions is self-awareness. This involves recognizing and understanding how my emotions and moods affect my behavior and those around me. Learning this has been a journey for me. I used to think my mood was shaped by my environment, but I’ve realized it’s linked to my thoughts, and adjusting my mindset has been a challenging part of parenting.
If I let minor frustrations with my children ruin my mood, I would be sacrificing a lot of my joy and granting too much power to external circumstances. Letting things like social media or laundry heaps affect my emotions sets a path for an unhappy life. Being self-aware means staying in touch with my thoughts and feelings and adjusting them as needed.
Once I am aware of my emotions, the next step is learning to regulate them. This means controlling impulses, keeping moods in check, and pausing to think before reacting. Having awareness is crucial, but it doesn’t help much without self-regulation. One tip I use for self-regulation is placing a hand over my heart, taking deep breaths, and repeating a mantra like “we are okay” before responding when I feel irritated.
There are many calming techniques available to us once we’re aware of our emotions (I’ll share a list later), but the key is to create space between action and reaction and find what works best for us.
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Finally, internal motivation should drive all of this. I must be guided by my vision and purpose. To help with this, I’ve created a personal blueprint for the parent I want to be. Reading it daily helps keep me focused. To draft your own vision, consider these questions:
1. What do I want my legacy to be?
2. What are my main goals as a mother?
3. What stories do I want my children to tell their kids about their childhood?
4. List words that describe the environment you hope to cultivate at home.
**Calming Techniques:**
1. Place your hand over your heart, close your eyes, and breathe deeply.
2. Look at a baby photo of your child when you feel angry.
3. Stretch your muscles by standing tall and opening your chest.
4. Do 10 jumping jacks or push-ups.
5. Step outside for fresh air.
6. Read a few paragraphs from your favorite book.
7. Keep a notepad of inspirational quotes and read them to reset.
8. Visualize your happy place—perhaps a beach or a forest.
9. Repeat a calming mantra like “I choose love.”
10. Smell something soothing like lavender oil or your favorite perfume.
11. Focus on your five senses—what do you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel?
12. Press the pressure point between your eyebrows to relieve stress.
13. Give yourself a hand massage.
14. Create a calming playlist and listen to it.
15. Hug someone; physical contact with a loved one boosts oxytocin and helps calm you down.
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