A growth mindset can transform how your child approaches new challenges, learns from mistakes, and builds resilience for life.
**Introduction**
I’ve experienced this scene countless times. Despite the initial excitement, I often knew how it would end. It might start with a new Lego set, a math project, or an attempt to recreate the Island of Tafiti from “Moana” using paper and washi tape. Each of these projects began as exciting adventures packed with potential for fun and learning, only to often conclude in frustration and chaos. My 8-year-old daughter and I would end up standing beside what had become a mess rather than a completed project, hearing a defeated “I give up!”
My daughter feels things keenly and tends toward perfectionism (perhaps inherited from her father!). She’s eager to try new things, as long as everything proceeds exactly as planned. Many children face similar struggles with new challenges, often shutting down if things don’t go smoothly. This shutdown might look like Tafiti’s scattered remains or a head resting despondently on the kitchen table. The underlying thought is, “If I can’t understand or do it immediately and easily, I should just quit to avoid failing.”
This reaction stems from a ‘fixed mindset,’ where abilities and intelligence are seen as static—you either have them or you don’t. This viewpoint explains why my daughter often gives up at the first sign of difficulty. Fixed mindset behaviors are largely unconscious, influenced by temperament, personal experience, and inner dialogue.
**The Growth Mindset**
Research clearly demonstrates that the way your child perceives their abilities greatly influences their success. Dr. Carol Dweck from Stanford University has shown that when children see their abilities and intelligence as flexible and capable of growth, they are more likely to succeed and less likely to give up.
This positive approach, which my daughter was missing, is called a ‘growth mindset.’ If your child tends to give up easily like mine, don’t worry. Thanks to brain plasticity, children’s mindsets can be developed and nurtured over time. Supporting this way of thinking is a valuable investment for several reasons:
1. **Embrace New Challenges**: When children understand that skills and intelligence grow with effort, they’re more likely to tackle new challenges bravely and confidently.
2. **Approach Mistakes Positively**: By viewing mistakes as opportunities for growth, children can handle them gracefully, turning potential failure into a chance to deepen their understanding and skills.
3. **Value Effort and Struggle**: Viewing the brain like a muscle that grows stronger with use helps children see challenging tasks as opportunities to build strength and ability.
4. **Develop Intrinsic Motivation**: Instead of focusing on external validation, like getting straight A’s, children with a growth mindset are driven by a genuine desire to learn and improve.
5. **Cultivate a Love of Learning**: When learning is approached without pressure and full of possibility, children may even come to enjoy it.
Supporting a child with a fixed mindset can feel daunting, like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I used to feel responsible for my daughter’s success or failure and wanted to keep her positive while learning new tasks. Knowing you’re fostering a growth mindset gives you the assurance that your child will have the tools to take on and conquer challenges, even when you’re not there. This is ultimately what we aim for in parenting, isn’t it?
We never got around to recreating Tafiti at home (too much washi tape wasted!), but we have had several peaceful ‘reading log’ sessions, which I’ll happily count as a win.
**Additional Resources**
– Take a peek inside: [Link to the preview]
– Articles you’ll love:
– How to Raise an Emotionally Healthy Child That Will Succeed in Life
– 75 Calm Down Strategies for Kids (They’ll Actually Want to Try!)
– The One Thing I Wish I Had Known About Disciplining a Child
– Anger Management for Kids: A Therapist’s No-Fail Guide to Calm
**Explore More on Growth Mindset:**
– Top 10 Growth Mindset Resources for Parents
– What Every Great Parent Should Know About the Mindset of Success
