If you’re feeling overwhelmed as a parent of a child with ADHD, you’re definitely not alone. A child therapist, who’s also a mom to a child with ADHD, shares some simple and effective steps to help you move forward with more clarity and confidence. Caring for a child with ADHD can be emotionally and mentally exhausting, but these five tips can help you stay grounded, put things in perspective, and make both you and your child happier.
**Table of Contents**
**A Moment of Honesty**
Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if my child didn’t have ADHD. I think about whether I’d have more patience since it wouldn’t be drained by emotional outbursts. I imagine having a tidier home if there weren’t so many impulsive adventures leading to sticky messes. I even ponder if I’d be the ‘fun mom’ more often if I didn’t have to enforce routines so strictly. These thoughts usually come on days when I feel overwhelmed by the unique challenges of raising a child who doesn’t fit the usual mold. It feels like other families have it easier, and my envisioned family life has slipped away.
Yet, I’m grateful that after seven years, these feelings of overwhelm are less frequent. With time comes hope and growth. On those tough days, keeping these tips in mind can help anchor you to what truly matters—the well-being of both you and your child.
**Pause and Breathe**
When you’re on the verge of losing it, give yourself permission to pause. Most situations with your child aren’t urgent, and taking a moment to regroup can lead to more effective responses. When everything is swirling around you, stop and observe your feelings and physical reactions. What’s beneath your frustration or anger? Are you upset because your child repeats mistakes, or scared they might not learn important skills? It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling.
Accept your emotions as they come. They’re temporary; acknowledging them allows them to pass. Remember, having these thoughts doesn’t make you a bad parent. Being mindful of your emotions and not reacting in frustration helps you be the best parent for your child and strengthens your relationship.
**Resilient Parenting**
Navigating the journey of parenting a child with ADHD requires patience, time, and self-compassion. It’s easy to be hard on yourself, but blaming yourself for your child’s ADHD behaviors isn’t fair. When negative thoughts arise, counter them with truth: “I’m doing my best today, and so is my child. Recognizing ADHD symptoms is my job, not the job of others.” Find ways to process these feelings, whether through conversations with other parents, journaling, or other methods that work for you.
**Focus on Strengths**
To help your child reduce negative behaviors, focus on their natural strengths and gifts instead of just the challenges. Positive reinforcement can be particularly helpful during tough times. Remember, your child is so much more than their difficult behaviors. As Fred Rogers beautifully put it, every child has unique qualities worth celebrating.
**Navigate Tough Times**
Consistently dealing with challenging behaviors can leave you feeling overwhelmed. Stress can make you operate out of emotion rather than logic. When this happens, remind yourself that these behaviors are temporary. Your child’s brain continues developing, and with your support, they’ll learn how to better manage emotions and behaviors.
**Strengthen Your Bond**
On days when your patience wears thin, take it as a sign that your relationship could use some strengthening. A nurturing bond is essential, especially for kids facing extra challenges. It’s okay to step away from strict routines temporarily. Focus on having fun and laughing with your child—these moments can be incredibly healing.
Remember, the most valuable growth often comes from facing the toughest challenges. Over time, I’ve learned that my child’s difficult behaviors have actually increased my patience and taught me what truly matters. Pause, breathe, and remind yourself that things will be okay. The most important factor is that your child has a loving and committed parent in their corner.
*This post was originally published on 12/12/2018 and has been updated.*
P.S. There’s more support for your ADHD parenting journey…
