Inside: A simple 5-step guide to help your child overcome friendship issues and equip them for future relationship conflicts.
Table of Contents
**Introduction:**
On the first day of first grade, my 6-year-old daughter came home and said, “I didn’t have fun at recess today, Mom. Annie said we’re not friends anymore this year.” Last year, Annie and my daughter were inseparable, but over the summer, Annie became closer with another classmate. Despite her efforts to appear unfazed, I could sense my daughter’s heart was hurting.
Seeing our child face disappointment or rejection is difficult for any parent. We all want our children to feel liked and accepted. However, these experiences are essential for teaching children emotional coping, conflict resolution, and communication skills that they’ll use throughout their lives.
Let’s dive into an easy 6-step plan to help your child manage friendship challenges now and prepare them to handle future relationship conflicts effectively.
**Step 1: Stay Calm and Observant**
This can be the hardest step for parents because our own emotions often get tangled up when our child is in distress. It’s important to recognize our feelings and take a step back, allowing our child to explain the situation fully before jumping in with solutions. Being mindful helps us respond at the right time.
**Step 2: Practice Empathy**
Empathizing with your child strengthens your relationship. When they feel heard and understood, they move from the emotion-driven part of their brain to a more logical one. Dr. Brené Brown defines empathy as “feeling with other people.” By empathizing, we offer a safe space free from judgment, viewing things from their perspective.
**Step 3: Ask Open-Ended Questions**
Open and curious questions lead to deeper understanding. Ask things like:
– What upset you the most about today?
– How did it feel when that happened? What do you think they felt?
– If you could do it over, what would you do differently?
**Step 4: Encourage Problem-Solving**
Once your child has worked through their feelings, help them develop problem-solving skills. Discuss how they might handle a similar situation differently next time. Encourage them to think critically about a way forward.
**Step 5: Share Your Experiences**
Children love hearing real-life stories. Share times when you had to navigate conflicts at work or with family members. This teaches basic communication and conflict resolution skills through relatable examples.
**Conclusion:**
No matter how uncomfortable it is to see your child navigate peer conflicts, it’s crucial to give them the space to handle their relationships independently. My daughter eventually rekindled her friendship with Annie, taking what we discussed into account only when she felt ready.
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**About Angela Pruess, LMFT:**
Hello! I’m Angela, a Licensed Children’s Mental Health Professional, Positive Parenting coach, and mother to spirited kids who teach me something new (including grey hairs) each day. I believe every child deserves the chance to thrive and that emotional well-being is the key to lifelong success and happiness. Read more about my journey and the “Parents with Confidence” mission.
