Inside: Discover 6 ways to stay attuned to your child’s needs during the hectic holiday season, helping to reduce meltdowns and boost fun, joy, and love.
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Every year, I eagerly look forward to the day we put up Christmas decorations and trim the tree. I imagine an evening filled with laughter, festive music, and sparkling ornaments. But we’ve all heard about the danger of having expectations…
This year, our tree-decorating day was much like previous ones. After an hour of working together and untangling lights, our kids’ patience started to wane. Suddenly, little hands were reaching too quickly for fragile items, and sharp words flew as siblings vied for their favorite ornaments.
When the chaos of parenting meets the chaos of holiday decorating, past experience has shown that my husband or I tend to get swept up in the negativity and reactiveness as well. Voices get louder, expressions grow sharper, and little spirits feel the weight.
Before long, we find ourselves in the office, feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, trying to regroup and wondering how we end up in this scenario year after year.
Holiday stress is a recurring “gift” for parents, like it or not. It’s important to remember that the holidays affect our children too. Emotions run high, sleep is often lacking, and much of the daily routine your child depends on goes out the window.
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As adults, we have our own stress to manage, but as grown-ups, we’re expected to care for ourselves. Our kids, however, are still developing and need our loving guidance through this exciting yet unpredictable time.
Here are 6 ways parents can help their children have the best holiday ever by being mindful of their developmental and emotional needs:
1. **Realistic Expectations**: Unrealistic holiday expectations can dampen the spirit, as I learned with my tree-decorating aspirations. Kids sense parental stress and may unknowingly disrupt plans for the perfect holiday event. Remember, kids will still make mistakes, no matter how well-dressed they are.
2. **Consistency**: Amidst flipped routines and the sensory overload of the holidays, kids can get anxious and overstimulated. While holiday events are fun, keeping routines predictable between them helps everyone enjoy the season without feeling overwhelmed.
3. **Play**: Just like adults need downtime, kids need unstructured play to recharge, work through emotions, and solve problems. Allowing plenty of playtime between visits to relatives and holiday shows increases the chances of having a happy, relaxed child.
4. **Preparation**: I’m not talking about shopping or wrapping gifts, but about informing your child of the day’s plans. Kids don’t have the same knowledge as we do. They’re more likely to stay calm if they know what to expect and what’s expected of them.
5. **Time**: While it feels like there’s less time during the holidays, prioritizing connection is vital. If children only get your leftover attention, they may act out negatively. Just 10 minutes a day of focused engagement can lead to a stronger bond, better cooperation, and listening.
6. **Patience**: I’m grateful when my husband gently reminds me to keep the holiday irritability in check. Our kids deserve the same patient guidance during these busy times. It’s important to remember that we’re all human and trying our best, lifting each other up with kindness rather than criticism.
>> Related: 5 Toxic Mindsets that Will Poison Your Parenting (and their Antidotes)
In the office, we realized where we went wrong—I let the “stuff” overshadow the people. Or, more precisely, put the ornaments ahead of my children’s feelings.
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We discussed how to set firm boundaries with kindness and respect, rather than criticism. We even asked the kids for a do-over, and they quickly forgave us, jumping back into the fun. Sure, the rest of the day was a chaotic mix of crafts and décor, with a few broken items, but the important part was that everyone’s hearts were intact.
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