Inside, you’ll discover four key ways to be a supportive parent to your teenager while also cherishing this stage of their development.
**Table of Contents**
For years, the teenage phase has been dreaded and viewed negatively. My oldest daughter has just lost her second tooth, and I’m already feeling anxious about the upcoming hormonal years. But what if it doesn’t have to be that way? What if expecting the worst actually contributes to creating it?
Given the extensive research on the power of positive thinking, it’s worth considering a shift in how we view the teenage years. Adolescence is a phase that every parent will face. Instead of fearing it, embrace it and develop a plan to guide your child confidently through these crucial years, while maintaining your own peace of mind.
Start by focusing on what you can do to support your child’s well-being during their teenage years. If you haven’t realized it yet, the hard truth is that we can’t control another person’s actions. Fortunately, there’s something vital we can influence: the time and effort we put into building a strong relationship with our teen.
Many parents find that old disciplinary methods don’t work as well with teenagers. So, how do you ensure your teen listens and respects you? Shift from strict control to nurturing a relationship built on trust and respect. Research shows that positive parent-child relationships lead to better academic, social, and emotional outcomes. Here are some ways to strengthen your connection with your teen.
Coping with the emotional highs and lows of raising a teenager (both theirs and yours) requires self-care. Although often seen as clichéd, self-care means being mindful and aware of your own emotions so that you can respond constructively to your teen, rather than reacting impulsively. Let’s be honest, they’ll give us plenty of opportunities to react. Your teen needs you to model self-control and emotional stability now more than ever.
Be aware of what triggers your emotions. If certain behaviors provoke a strong reaction, there’s likely a reason rooted in past experiences or concerns about your child. Pause and reflect to separate these feelings from your current relationship with your teen, relieving both you and them from extra emotional baggage.
Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings. This might sound a bit far-fetched, but it’s not. Neuroscience shows that if we don’t address our emotions (processed in the right brain), we can’t fully engage our logic and reasoning (left brain).
The teenage years can be emotionally challenging for parents. Take time to process your feelings about your evolving family, whether through reflection, talking to friends, or journaling. Check out this fantastic journal for teens!
Your teen is discovering their identity and place in the world, exploring their strengths and challenges. It’s tempting for parents to get overly involved, driven by their own hopes and fears. Support your teen’s journey by pursuing your own interests alongside them. Be open to new experiences, and encourage your teen to try new things too.
For instance, if you’ve always wanted to try yoga, now’s the perfect time. Demonstrate to your teen that exploring new skills and building friendships can be fulfilling. When you’re content, you free your child from the pressure of meeting your emotional needs.
You’ll begin to notice your teen’s unique talents and personality emerging. Help them recognize and value their strengths, whether it’s their fascination with science experiments or their love of reading. This reinforces their self-awareness.
As they prepare to step into the wider world, teens need to master many tasks, primarily those that involve managing their basic needs like grooming, sleeping, and eating. Now is the time to let your teen take on more responsibility.
Allow them more autonomy in managing daily tasks. Offer a monthly allowance for essentials like gas, food, and clothing, enabling them to learn valuable lessons in budgeting and saving. Encourage them to contribute to family responsibilities and express their own values, creating a space for them to set personal goals.
Parenting a teen will undoubtedly bring unique challenges and emotional hurdles. Parents still play a crucial role in guiding and setting boundaries for their teens. But let’s avoid making this time more stressful than it needs to be. Embrace these years of significant cognitive, emotional, and physical development, and find moments of calm within them.
P.S. Your teen’s mindset is crucial! Help them develop a mindset of growth, resilience, and positivity.
The Big Life Journal – Teen Edition is now on Kickstarter!
This illustrated, guided journal helps tweens and teens harness the power of their mindset, set goals, and build persistence to achieve them. It cultivates the drive, decision-making, and skills necessary for teens to take control of their lives, discover their interests, and use their unique gifts to make a difference. Pre-order a copy for your tween or teen today!
